I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
