PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
