Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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