I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
