she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
