where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize