So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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