I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
