It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
