the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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