U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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