i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
