If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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