bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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