just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You are the jesus of drinking
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