I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
