Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
