did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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