They should really pass out barf bags in church
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
