he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
