Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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