The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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