We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
