Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
