If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize