I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize