i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize