i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
