Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
