i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize