Little spoons don't ask big questions
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
