he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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