Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
