you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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