Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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