OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
