That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
