Kiss
Puke
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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