The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
