This girl is more easily done than said...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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