Just cropdusted the office
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
