the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
