On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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