Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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