is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize