She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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