You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
