This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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