I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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