When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
