You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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