Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
