Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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