Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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