Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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