I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
