So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
