i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
