i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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