i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
