that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
